Featured Member: xZethLee

xZethLee is one of the pioneering members of the guild. He was the guild’s go-to tamer during guild raids before Zhea15 went apeshit strong. When xZethLee’s friends in-game decided to quit, he also decided to take a long break, which resulted to people catching up to his power. He is now mostly playing catch up to the new strong people in the guild. He is also available to help anyone, but who needs a washed up tamer, right?

His journey as a gamer started long time ago but he was diagnosed by experts to be a World of Warcraft (commonly known as ‘WoW’ or ‘WoW, my life has gone shitter’) addict. He already quit the game and decided to focus on his profession as an embalmer.

However, while opening up a dead man’s body in one of his embalming duties, he stumbled upon a game called Crusaders of Light. Right after he cut the penis off the dead body (this is a Christian thing, so the dead can enter heaven), he downloaded CoL. Little did he know that he is opening a can of worms, as the game’s inhabitants are among the most chronically illiterate losers on the face of the planet.

His addiction of CoL is considered severe. But as the time goes by, he realized that playing a quest in CoL is like fucking a prostitute, you might slightly enjoy it, but you still get that awkward feeling that a gazillion people have done her before, that you are being unfairly milked of your money and that in the end, you didn’t really achieve anything. At present, xZethLee is chilling more with his friends by doing dailies and not join every raid Healia is running.

If you have a friend or colleague whom you suspect of being a CoL addict, it is important to carefully gauge their level of addiction before taking any other action.

• Check their cellphones for a Crusaders of Light icon. Often early signs such as downloading the app can make all the difference, since while it’s unlikely they will be cured, you can take action to prevent friends and loved ones from being infected.

• If you happen to walk in on a CoLer during one of their sessions, (as is most likely the case since that’s about all they ever do), DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT, interrupt the game. He may try to gank you with his replica sword he got at Alibaba.com

• It’s entirely possible that you may catch a CoLer during an intense masturbation session. You have been warned.

• From bank statements, see if they’re buying Goblint packs. If you find this to be the case, you can be sure their addiction has taken precedence over any other financial considerations, and should immediately remove any items of value from anywhere in the area.

There are but four cures for CoL addiction:

1. Their self extermination. Preferably through fire.

2. Assisted extermination by a merciful soul. Preferably through fire.

3. Having a shred of willpower, and selling your account for many real money to some more-addicted sucker. Then you can buy delicious cake. Example: GoogleTricks

4. Pay some whore to have sex with the patient. They’ll be sure to never play MMORPGs ever again!

Where are you from?

I was born and raised in Naga City Bicol

What is your occupation?

Im currently managing our own business which sounds creepy for others whenever they knew that it is a (FUNERAL PARLOR) where in im also the licensed embalmer. Creepy ha?

What do you do when you are not playing CoL?

I’m probably working or i’m with my family spending quality time with them

What random things do you like?

I love traveling, meeting new people and learning new languages. I aslo love cheering people up, even if that includes making utterly ridiculous things. lastly I love talking to random people and learn from their experiences in life.

When did you start playing CoL?

Maybe August last year I already forgot it.

How did you come up with your in-game name?

I decided to use my Wife’s name just to be able to play again as for her comfort and avoid doubts haha

Why did you decide to join Risque guild?

I decided to join risqué because of Moal. Since day one he’s the one who guided me throughout the game he helps me with everything and he’s like a brother ingame, so when he decided to leave our previous guild I asked him which guild did you transferred and he told me that it was a new guild named “risqué ” and the leader is really nice, smart and she’s a good leader he was referring to our “Hoeliness Mother of Hoes named Hoealia” which really is a great leader and she’s really good at “D”. Moal did a great job building you up Mother. Then I’m here to the best guild i ever joined, full of dick pics and hoes as what Healia always told us when you where called hoes means your considered a friend so don’t miss understood it and be thankful that you’ve been summoned and called Hoe.

What is your favorite ranger skill?

Since i have to choose only one skill that would be Roll, I love to be rolled and rolling things

Shoutout to your friends and guildies

First of all I would like to thank Moal and imGROOT for always helping me out with my dailies and other ing (in-game) events you guys where like my brother and sister you guys guided me. Brienne, Weed, Googletricks, Calosso you guys where amazing each of you has it’s own characteristics that a friend would love to have. Thank you for doing my dailies and fun memories together ing and discord. To JamestownHoes Barry, Foolitzer, IsabellaSvea and others thank you for helping and making my stay here memorable. For Barry thanks for considering me as your brother not only ing but also in real life, for your advices and words of wisdom, I thank you and grooty for always being there. Izzle bro thanks for everything you know what it is. Kween thanks for leading gh rulers.Hoelia Mother of Hoes thank you for your guidance and being a true friend you will always be remembered. your also the reason I became a HoeTamer and for that i owe you all my growth ing. iloveu Hoe and thanks.and for all my friends and guildies thanks and enjoy your stay.